Donuts are Not a Crime

I ran a 5K, the other day, and some dude rocked the mic to make announcements and keep runners motivated.

In between Black Eyed Peas songs and innocuous instructions about finding the Porta Potties, he would yell out, “Two in three kids in America are obese! That’s a crime! Let’s make a commitment to change that!”

Right. Okay. Let’s put this in perspective.

1. Violence against women is a crime.

2. What continues to happen in Haiti is a crime.

Having a chubby kid? Not a crime. Furthermore, obesity is measured based on an outmoded BMI scale. What’s chubby to an actuary in 1934 could be healthy in 2013. And we don’t really know anything about obesity and weight loss, anyway. There’s an obesity paradox and warnings that morbid obesity is morbid for a reason.

But whatever.

What really bugged me is that this for-profit race had 1,000 runners. Most of us signed up for the race at about $30/pop. That’s real money that could be used to solve some problems. And if the organizers really cared so much about childhood obesity, why not let the little fatties run for free?

You want to lecture me about a crime? The lack of a cohesive national energy policy is a crime. The intersection of poverty and public education is a crime. Charging me $70/month to work out at a smelly gym is a crime.

Donuts are not a crime. (Especially the fastnacht and the paczki.)

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.